The Perils of Time Travel

And the vital importance of starting where we are

Most of us, I suspect, spend too much time in the future.

We go there to frighten ourselves – or else to revel in glorious possibilities.

For me, the future is a place where my debut novel, Shadow of the Wolf, is a roaring success, bounding up the bestseller lists. Where its forthcoming sequels, Dark Fire and Wildwood Rising, are greeted with prizes and plaudits.

It’s a seductive vision, and I put all my writerly imagination into making it seem real. I envisage the daily phone call from my agent: “Good news – we’ve sold foreign rights in Spain and Japan – that’s twenty five countries so far. Oh, and I’m closing in on that TV deal!”

Other times, I visit a darker parallel future. Here, no-one even notices my novels exist, and my work is forever doomed to obscurity.

To some extent we need such mental time travel. Before attempting to make or achieve anything, we must first dream of potential. We need to see a desired destination, or we’d never set out in the first place. Equally, forecasting difficult scenarios can help us make contingency plans and guard against recklessness.

However, I tend to take these mental leaps to unhealthy extremes.

When I was writing my second novel, Dark Fire, I was so fixated with future fears and future possibilities – with all the ‘what-ifs’ and ‘if-onlys’ – that I failed to take care of the work in front of me. For years the book floundered and went nowhere.

To reclaim my creativity, I desperately needed to regain my footing in the here and now. So I doubled down on my meditation practice. I read deeply into the psychology of being present. I papered the wall above my desk with invaluable wisdom like this:

“Always start at the starting point. Starting at the wrong place is very stress provoking. Starting from where you are and what you have got and then moving forward is very encouraging and rewarding as you see progress towards your goal. However, many people start from where they want to be and what they want to have and then look to see how far off they are and become demoralised. To them, every day is measured as still being behind and lacking.”

[From The Chimp Paradox, by Professor Steve Peters]

“Beware of the gap. The gap between where you are and where you want to be. Simply thinking of the gap widens it. And you end up falling through.”

[Matt Haig, Reasons to Stay Alive]

Part of the reason getting ahead of ourselves is so stressful is because it robs us of our agency. We cannot manipulate a future that does not exist. The only reality we can effect is the one we inhabit, right here and now.

We can take responsibility for this moment, this action, this word, that’s all. We can string these moments together, taking care of each one, gradually influencing our direction of travel. Every time we feel ourselves tumbling forward, we can catch ourselves and gently come back to where we are.

Because the fact is, no matter how big our dreams, or how real they may seem, here and now is where we’ll always be. By definition, the future can never be reached. Every time we get there it has moved further off. Chasing after it is like trying to stamp on the head of our own shadow.

We all know this. Yet somehow, much of the time, it’s difficult to remember.

Meditation helps, as does yoga, or any physical practice that brings us back into the body. Posting up prompts can be useful. Sinking into the flow of writing or other creative work can be the most powerful method of all.

“As soon as you honour the present moment, all unhappiness and struggle dissolve, and life begins to flow with joy and ease.”

[Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now]

Whatever works for us, the effort is vital. Because the worst thing about living in a phantom future is that it blinds us to the wonderful things already present.

In my case, no, my debut novel is not storming the bestseller charts. But the fact that it exists at all is a marvel. It’s out there in bookshops, and is being read. Two sequels are finished, and there are many readers eager to find out what happens next.

Shadow of the Wolf in our local bookshop, next to William Gibson no less!

What would my 12-year-old book-loving self think of that? How thrilled would he be to know he will one day write a dark fantasy retelling of the Robin Hood myths? How many writers would love to have their work championed by my agent, editor, and publisher?

I should be extremely grateful for all these things. And I am, whenever I remember to step back into the present and open my eyes to what’s actually here, rather than reaching ahead always to future better better.

Who even wants to take the fast track to success? Isn’t that bypassing the most interesting part? Isn’t it better to nurture something and watch it grow?

My novel is finding readers, one by one. This newsletter, too, is growing, week after week. I’m practicing, and learning, and slowly improving what I have to give.

And that has to be better than racing after a future that doesn’t exist.

Thanks for joining me on this journey, I truly appreciate it!

Tim

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This is part of an ongoing series I call Write Mind, which explores attitudes and habits we can adopt to help our writing flourish. Check out the first two entries below, and make sure you’re signed up to receive all future posts.

Developing Write Mind

To Write Freely, Write Freehand

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And don’t forget to check out the start of the Blind Bowman trilogy, Shadow of the Wolf, which SFX Magazine called “wild, weird and wonderful,” and bestselling author Sally Green pronounced her “favourite book of the year.”